Edited 7:45 pm – saved some content for a later post
I need to get this off my chest. I know to some it will sound like whining. Well, it’s my blog and my life, and on my blog I get to express myself.
One of the challenges of this path I’ve chosen – evangelizing in social media, starting with no business model – is that the more visible I’ve become, the more people have…
- …plucked at my sleeve saying “I know you’ll love this – I just wrote it- please read it” or “please review it.” Truly, I wish I could, but I can’t. Sometimes it breaks my heart. But it disgusts me when people get mad at me or interpret it as me not caring.
- …implored me to come speak for free, or almost for free, because “We’d be so honored” or “You come highly recommended.” Most people who do this can understand when I say I can’t give my time away – I have no day job so I have to be responsible and I’m committed to not failing in this business, which would demonstrate that it’s a cause with no foundation or grip on reality … which would in turn discourage others who want to follow this path. But some persist, as if they didn’t understand – or as if I were a vain academic who just needed more flattery. Might work for some, but irrelevant to me.
- …asked me to evaluate their ideas for everything in the world. Folks, I wish I could. If I were a tenured academic, or had a comparable job in industry, perhaps I could. But any time I’m not earning, I’m running down my self-funded account.
- …asked me to write something for their blog. Oy, if you saw my own backlog of things I want to write about on my own sites…
- …questioned whether I really wanted to use the language I used. Yes, I choose my words intentionally. You’re welcome to unfollow – be empowered! :-)
- …asked me to come join their discussion forum, which they’re sure I’ll find fascinating. Honestly, I’m sure I would!
- …asked me to do a free webcast or unrehearsed interview. See above. I do these when I can, because they don’t require preparation and I can do them anywhere – even from a hotel room. But usually my time is full.
- …persisted in asking me to run their “sponsored” (paid) text on sites that I manage. (In other words, I have traffic and they don’t, and instead of earning traffic, they want me to sell some.) Did somebody write books telling these people bloggers are hungry for content?? Not the ones with a cause… but some hucksters don’t get it. One such exchange with an “SEO consultant” named Ryan recently ended with this:
Don’t be a faggot. Enjoy dying a miserable, lonely death you crusty old sack of sh!t. Crap like this is the reason you’ll always be poor.
Do you even lift?
Boom, owned, bye faggy boy. :)
I’d like to do it all (except the whiners and jerks), but I have doctor’s orders not to get exhausted because the best available data (which isn’t very good) says there’s a 50% chance my kidney cancer will return some day, and it matters that I get rest.
Plus, I love getting in bed with my wife.
So I no longer average 1-2 all-nighters a month, and frankly I’m glad. (My Zeo sleep monitor was part of convincing me about that. Funny thing about the value of data to raise awareness!) And I no longer say yes to speaking invitations that would require impossible contortions of air travel.
And I’m trying to write two new books this year – books that need to be written, to define the field.
So, as uncomfortable as it is, I have to sometimes say “Leave me alone” to the pushy and whiny ones, and to the earnest ones say “I wish I could. I truly wish I could.” But it’s a sign of health to know your capacity. And ability to say “no” is fundamental to being empowered and responsible.
I applaud everyone who’s joining this cause and wants to move the ball up the field! I’ll help however I can, when I can, but not more than I can afford.
To those who understand, thank you.
And to SEO Ryan: up yours, and get a life. I wish I knew who your “client in the tech sector” is, so I could share our full thread with them. Boom, owned. :-)