It took a month to get through the first five posts in this series, all based on the notes Randi Redmond Oster took from one thirty minute phone call. THAT’s getting value out of a conversation.
And that leads to this next point, which is short and simple. As you consider what to say to your audience, ask yourself this:
What could be said that would make any difference?
You may get frustrated by this – you may think people should think the way you do, or you may think people should want to hear what’s on your mind. You’re welcome to those feelings; heaven knows I’ve had them. But my point here is: if you want to make a difference in the world, by speaking, you better think about what could make a difference.
A lot of speeches I hear seem to have been written without wondering about that. Except for purely academic events, it’s not enough to recite facts. In academia it’s okay to say “I presented the facts – my work is done.” But if you’re advocating – if you want to change the world – that’s not enough. For instance:
- It generally doesn’t accomplish anything to tell people they’re wrong. (It can be done, but it’s an uphill climb.)
- It generally doesn’t accomplish much to spell out in detail how bad things are. (To get anywhere with this method, you need to be as powerful as Regina Holliday.)
- It does help when you honor the inner motivation that got people into this line of work … the long-ago spark of “I could really do something useful.” Some people have had it beaten out of them by life. Connect to that – rekindle it – and you’ve got something to build on.
- It helps when you help people understand how and why something could be better, give them hope, and give them some direction.
This is not about air-headed enthusiasm.
It’s not about cheerleading, and it’s not about pandering to the lowest common denominator. It’s about empathy – putting yourself in your audience’s shoes.
So, given what you’ve learned about your audience in your client calls, ask yourself that question. Or even ask your client directly:
What could be said that would make any difference?
If you’re not sure how to answer that, for starters, you’re welcome to plunder the videos on this site. In every talk, every bit is in there for this reason, and I’m happy to answer questions in the comments here.
Next in the series: #7: 2011 post “Building a career as a public patient”
“It does help when you honor the inner motivation that got people into this line of work … the long-ago spark of “I could really do something useful.” Some people have had it beaten out of them by life. Connect to that – rekindle it – and you’ve got something to build on.”
Dave, this may be the most important thing you have said in this series. I have been there…on the “other” side, as a bedside nurse. It is hurtful when I hear people who have suffered medical harm…albeit horrible and mostly preventable…disparage the entire healthcare industry and all of it’s people. Lets acknowledge that everyone in Healthcare went in for the same reason…to help and heal fellow human beings. Then we need to understand, that no matter how horrible the harm is, that it was intentional in only a tiny minority of cases…. (ie sexual assalt, physical or emotional abuse, outright murder). The vast majority of healthcare harm incidents are unintentional and are caused by human error, and sometimes neglect or ignorance, but not by intent. It is only when the harm is repeated over and over again that I think we have the right to say otherwise.
So, any of us who speak at conferences or other settings, must acknowledge the accomplishments, and the wonders of modern medicine….you are a prime example result of cancer care progress, and really, so am I! If we say this and give credit where it is due, and acknowledge the providers’ great intentions, then our audience will be ready to listen to the rest of our message. (The “rest of the story” may not be for their listening pleasure, but it must be said).
Thanks, Kathy. Coming from you – RN, e-patient, family caregiver and advocate – it’s valuable to know what particularly resonates for you.
Medical conferences often try to teach people that the system’s problems are *system* problems – complex interactions. It’s simply a mistake to look at one isolated part of the system and assert that that’s how the whole thing is DESIGNED.
The best way I know to illustrate this is by seeing how a complicated mobile works, as in this video clip: http://youtu.be/Al7gPeVcIAE?t=24s One medical episode might be like one hinge point in that thing. It goes up, down, turns around – influenced hugely and unpredictably by things that are happening elsewhere in the system.
BUT – it’s just as much a mistake for leaders of the system to think that if their INTENT is good, and they’re “doing the best we can,” then that’s all there is to say. Those people too need to understand complexity and understand that no matter how good our intentions, we need to keep an eye on how it ACTUALLY works out.
This is where I think leaders of the system can be sometimes be seen as culpable, because it’s their job to understand and manage the system. When people riding one spot of the mobile yell for help, leaders need to listen.
But that’s a whole other BIG discussion. The point here is that for a person who wants to create change, it’s good to ask what you could say that would make any difference.
More to add to my pre-event consultation piece.
After a client has that consultation meeting with you, e-Patient Dave, sees your effort to work WITH them . . . then sees you knock it out of the park it must be very different to work with the speaker who simply shows up with his/her slides to present. (Not knocking that other method. I’m just choosing the e-Patient Dave approach for me.)
Invaluable stuff here. I am learning a lot!!
> it must be very different to work with the speaker who simply shows up with his/her slides to present.
Interestingly, I’ve recently had a couple of clients remark that they want to try using this approach with other speakers.
This is a mind-shift here. The consultative approach takes this work to a higher level.