On 9/11 I was in Chicago at Print ’01, a huge exhibition in the print industry. I turned on the TV in my hotel room just in time to see the second plane hit. It was unworldly – and I was 1200 miles from home.
During my cancer I learned that although we long for certainty, sometimes it’s just not possible. We can only choose from available options, with imperfect information, and see how it plays out. I was desperately sick and wanted a sure treatment, but there wasn’t one. When I learned about interleukin I wished I could know if it would work for me, and they couldn’t say – even Beth Israel Deaconess, one of the best places in the world for this disease, couldn’t say. Today I know they acted professionally by telling the truth: no false hope, and no false despair – just the truth, which my primary physician Dr. Danny Sands might say this way: “Sometimes we just don’t know.”
As regular readers know, that was freshly reinforced when my younger brother died unexpectedly eleven days ago. (See A death in the family and A sister’s perspective.)
Now, due to another uncertain family circumstance, we’ve decided my June trip to Australia must be postponed to another time.




This post brings together several threads from the past year’s work. At the core is one of the Great Challenges for TEDMED 2013: The Role of the Patient. Roles exist in a context, and a new perspective on this context came to light today.